Handbags and happiness

Case study 1: The Trendsetter

For some, it's the handbag. Latest fashion. It's this season's must-have. You've probably seen female after female walking around the city proudly clasping them. The females also have the latest boots (to match the handbag). And the latest smock-style dresses. The latest cape-jackets. The latest hair accessories. The 'right' leggings. The make-up. The jewelry.

It will all be out of date and in landfill within 18 months, declared 'out of date' by the Powers That Be.

Case study 2: The Geek

For some, it's the PDA. The latest model. Plays everything. Has everything. Does everything. Very small, neat, compact. Fits into your pocket - maybe so small you don't even notice it's there. A smart phone. iPod. Laptop. Palmtop. Geeky toys your geeky friends will wow over.

It will start doing 'strange things' within a year or two. Maybe the screen will stop sensing your stylus taps, or get too scratched for clear viewing. Or the screen might just go blank one day. Or the model you have doesn't have enough memory any more. Or it just isn't as spiffy as the one your workmate has. Toss it out, shove it in the drawer, sell it on eBay for next to nothing - it's garbage now, whichever way you look at it.

Case study 3: The Mountaineer

Maybe your 'thing' is adventure sports. You have lots of clothing with 'Kathmandu' emblazoned across it. 'Gondwana'. 'Feathertop'. High-tech mountain gear. Not that you do much mountaineering but - hey - it sure looks good. It even makes your beer gut look trimmer.

Once again, you've got to keep up with those infernal Joneses. Keep that funky, sporting wardrobe up-to-date with the latest outerwear, and toss anything that is looking a bit worn in the trash. Or maybe give it to St. Vinnies charity shops. But probably the bin.

Oh, those Joneses!

The truth is, we all have our weaknesses, whether they are clothes, toys, equipment, or even spoiling the kids with the latest kids stuff.

The reason the Downshifting movement has come into its own is because the bane of modern society is, simply put, Too Much Stuff.

We're drowning in clutter. We're knee deep in belongings that we don't really want, don't really use, and probably never really needed in the first place.

Somewhere along the line, we convinced ourselves (encouraged by copious amounts of advertising which has played upon our lack of self-worth) that we needed things to be worthwhile, beautiful, clever, fun, or amusing. Things would win us friends and help us to influence people. Things could help us do what our small, lonely, self-doubting humanity might not.

The Trendsetter (case study 1) convinced herself that if only she had the 'right look' (as marked by various fashion magazines, shops etc.), she would be more beautiful, more appealing, more popular with her friends, and probably more likely to find a partner. Oh, and happier.

Sadly, in our shallow society, some of this is probably true.

The Geek (case study 2) convinced him/herself that if only s/he had the 'right toys' s/he would have some sort of funky BOFH status among his/her other Geek friends. In this subset of society, comparing clever gizmos is a major pastime, and having better gizmos than your peers is sometimes, sadly, a definite status-gainer.

Maybe the Geeks should really stop to question if they should perhaps consider deeper and more meaningful ways to strengthen relationships than having toys?

The Mountaineer (case study 3) convinced him/herself that if only s/he has the right clothing and equipment, s/he'll look and feel fit, attractive, and ready to tackle the great outdoors.

How many hours are spent earning enough money to pay for that equipment and clothing? Are there enough hours left to enjoy the great outdoors?

Maybe a better way for the Mountaineer to trim that beer gut and live their dream is to wear any old thing and just get out there into the world!

All of these case studies are people who think that they can find virtue, or value, or self-worth, in belongings.

But the truth is that self-worth can only ever be found inside oneself. No amount of stuff will ever make a person more worthwhile.

Somehow the more we clutter our lives up with clothing, toys, possessions, 'stuff', the more we lose sight of what is real, and deep, and meaningful.

All around us, in our overly 'stuff'-filled society, people are searching for meaning. Attending meditation workshops. Trying yoga, Pilates, swimming, gym work. Struggling to lose excess pounds and shed excess emotional baggage. Grasshopper-leaping from religion to religion in search of 'the truth'.

But here's the rub: Happiness can't be bought or sold.

You can't find fulfillment through clothing, toys, or equipment.

You can't buy contentment from a Church or a short course.

Truth can't be sold door to door, or ordered online, or purchased in a catalog.

The paradox of happiness is that sometimes it is easier to find your bliss when you shed the 'stuff'.

Our society has fallen into the trap of thinking that happiness is all about the handbag. But the handbag is empty. It will never make you happy.

Neither will that latest geeky toy or that piece of outdoors equipment.

But if you go outside, and listen to the wind in the trees, and smell the flowers.
Or if you hug someone you love and are hugged in return.
Or if you give some of that 'stuff' you have to someone who really needs it, and tell no-one and ask for nothing in return.

Then you might just find happiness.

(x-posted from the writer's own Blog Cluttercut)